Heroes Among Us

This was a very difficult post to write. My words could never do justice to the full extent of my gratitude or the incredible strength and character exhibited by my donor family, but this is my attempt. Denisha - thank you for allowing me to share our story.

What is a hero?

I would define a hero as someone with the opportunity, the instinct and the will to help others. Maybe it’s the guy that tipped 100% because the waitress looked like she was having a rough day. Maybe it’s the off-duty police officer that jumped in front of a moving train to save a stranger who had fallen onto the tracks. Maybe it’s the mother that starved herself to feed her children.

While I’ve looked up to a variety of people throughout my life, I’ve never really had a hero, per se. Now I have two – one that lives here on earth, and one whose time here was cut short but whose eternal spirit continues to glow. Their names are Denisha and T’neil, mother and daughter. They are the reasons I’m alive, though they would never accept such credit, instead giving all glory to God.

I never had the opportunity to meet T’neil, but I have learned so much about her and know she was a wonderful and beautiful young lady, full of life and loved by so many. She was a 17-year-old rising senior in high school who loved shopping and talking on the phone. She had dreams of joining the Navy, going to college and starting her own business. She had a rare disease that remained undetected until her final days and then took her life quickly. Her strong heart now beats inside of me.

T'neil, who gave me the gift of life.

While I haven’t yet met Denisha in person, I have exchanged letters, texts and phone calls with her. It’s difficult to find words that describe this wonderful woman, for I have never met anyone like her. Selfless, generous, thoughtful, faithful, loving – none of these words is strong enough. In the wake of her daughter’s death, impossibly, Denisha was praying for my recovery and good health. She was worried about me. It is patently clear that Denisha misses her daughter dearly, yet the strength of her faith provides comfort and carries her forward. T’neil had not self-identified as an organ donor, so Denisha was tasked with this difficult decision in what must have been the most painful moments of her life. Yet, she doesn’t describe it as a choice at all. God told her this was T’neil’s opportunity to help others. And help others she did – T’neil was able to donate a multitude of organs and tissue – impacting the lives of more people than can be counted on two hands and saving the lives of several of us.

Denisha has other children, one of whom is T’neil’s twin sister. The pain being experienced by this teenager is simply unimaginable and nothing anyone should have to endure. I hope that she shares her mother’s faith and takes comfort in the lives that her sister improved and saved. I’m sure T’neil lives on in her heart just as much as she lives on in mine.

Denisha and her family associate butterflies with T’neil’s continued presence. In the final days of her life, butterflies kept appearing to her family. They also like to burn candles to allow T’neil’s eternal light to glow. Maybe you will light a candle today in T’neil’s honor and say a prayer for her family.

These are true heroes. They were given the unenviable opportunity to help others in a significant way. The instinct to help came automatically and without hesitation. And they acted on those instincts to deliver the ultimate gift to many fortunate people. Because of this heroism, I am alive today. As I told Denisha, because of this heroism, I can use the word “yet” in so many sentences. I haven’t started a family yet. I haven’t written a book yet. I haven’t skied in the Alps yet. Whether she accepts credit for it or not, Denisha gave me a future, and for that I am eternally grateful.

As I think of T’neil, Denisha and their family, Mariah Carey’s “Hero” comes to mind. Some of the lyrics are below.

To my heroes, thank you. I look forward to meeting you soon. In the meantime, lots of love from my heart.

Mariah Carey – "Hero"

There's a hero

If you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid

Of what you are

There's an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you