A Day In The Life Of This Heart Transplantee
It’s an ice-cold Monday morning, I’m ready to start my day.
I’ve some unique errands to run, then I’ll be on my way.
On my feet there are boots, on my head a warm hat
In my hands three vials of poop and some pee in a vat.
Slipping on the snow and ice on my way to the lab
With my dignity in check – should’ve taken a cab.
For 24 hours I collected excretions of various styles
In a bright orange biohazard jug and three miniature vials.
Remember those old tiny film canisters?
They’d be fine to collect stool from hamsters.
But I’m slightly bigger than those wee animals
So it was a bit like fitting a square peg in a round hole.
Imagine collecting stool in three of these, okay?
It’s definitely not an ideal way to spend the day!
Needless to say I didn’t leave the house,
Didn’t have guests either…not even a mouse.
I have special instructions for two of the four –
These spend the night in the cold, outside my door.
For once I’m glad for the cold weather instead of summer.
Cuz putting the goods in the fridge would be a big bummer.
So off to work I go with my poop and my pee,
Just another day in the life of this heart transplantee.
|YES, the canisters came with their own sporks built in!|